I Met True Love With Death On Her Lips
by pandorabox82
Summary: In a world where Soul Mate marks appear as the last words a soulmate will ever say to you, Serena finds herself trying to avoid ever hearing them fall from Bernie's lips. But will she be able to thwart fate?
1. Chapter 1

"Engine been growling or whining?"

Serena looked up to see a lanky blonde woman approaching her, cigarette dangling lazily at the corner of her mouth. She tried to find the words to reply, but it seemed like all rational thought had fled her mind as the woman stopped next to her. "Funny, you don't look like a mechanic," she quipped, kicking herself for the inane reply to her query.

"You sort of pick up a few things over the years. Though you are right, I'm not a mechanic. I'm the new surgeon here at Holby."

"Ah, then you must be Berenice Wolfe! It is so nice to finally put a face with the name," Serena said as she held out her hand expectantly. The moment their skin touched, Serena felt a frisson of electricity run down her spine, and a warm, almost burning, sensation spread across her lower torso, right above her hip. She gazed at Berenice's face to see if she had felt the same sensation, but there was no clear indication that she had, and Serena schooled her features so as to not draw more attention to herself.

"Please, call me Bernie."

"All right, Bernie." As she watched, Bernie took a look under her hood. "So, do you have any idea what's wrong?"

"It looks like your alternator might be cactus, you'll need to get it into a shop to know more. I mean, there are a few things that you could try to get her running again, but…"

"You don't have time to help me further. I understand, I'm trying to get to my daughter's play, actually, so I know about being pressed for time. But it was so good to meet you!"

They shared a smile before Bernie turned and made her way into the hospital. Serena couldn't help but watch her go, taking in the slight limp she had, and the assured way she walked. There was something intensely magnetic about the woman, and Serena wondered what it was that drew her attention. Rubbing her hip absently, she turned her attention back to her vehicle, her thoughts turning back to the notion of fixing things for herself. After all, she was good with her hands, otherwise she wouldn't be a surgeon.

Thirty minutes later, Serena was admitting defeat and stumbling back inside the hospital and making her way up to her office. There were black oil smudges all over her face and hands, and as she collapsed into her chair, she hesitated before picking up her phone, not wanting to get another thing dirty. Still she was tired, and so she carefully folded her arms and rested her head on them for a few moments, trying to will away some of the frustration she was feeling.

Finally, she knew that she had to wash up, and Serena stood, making her way over to the bathroom. It didn't take too much scrubbing to get the oil off her hands, and then she was delicately washing her face, not wanting to make her skin too red and irritated. It was only when she was clean once more that she thought about the strange burning sensation from earlier, and Serena tugged her blouse out of her pants, lifting it up as she tried to see what had caused the feeling.

A soft gasp slipped from her lips as she took in a patch of red skin. Running her fingers along it, she could feel that it was raised a little, an evident pattern there, one that she couldn't quite make out. Standing on her tiptoes, she tried to get a better look at it in the mirror, but it was to no avail, it would have to wait until she got home. Lowering her shirt, she smoothed her shirt back down across her torso and then shoved her hand through her hair, trying to give it some semblance of order.

Not really looking where she was going, she managed to run into Fletch, and she gave him a sheepish smile as he steadied her. "Whoa there, Ms Campbell."

"Sorry, Fletch. I guess I should pay a little more attention. I was just distracted by…" She gestured to her hip before shrugging a little. "I don't remember scraping my hip against anything, but there's a definite patch of irritation there."

"Do you want me to take a look?"

"Would you?"

He nodded and led her over to the private exam room. Taking a seat on the bed, Serena lifted the hem of her blouse once more, letting Fletch probe it with gentle fingers. As she watched, a knowing smile curved his lips upwards as he pulled his hand back and stripped off the gloves. "I always knew that Edward wasn't your soulmate."

"Excuse me?"

"That patch on your torso. It's your soulmate's words to you. I take it you met someone new today?"

Serena swallowed thickly as she shrugged, wanting to put a buffer between Fletch and herself in that moment. "Do you have your words?" He nodded. "Where are yours?"

"On my left bicep. Do you want to see?"

"Okay."

He gave her another smile before rolling up the sleeve of his scrub top. "See, mine are written in dark green here. Yours will develop colour in the next few days, and soon you'll be able to see what they are. Has no one in your life ever had the words before?"

"My mum did, but she didn't like to talk about them, since my father died so young. Do you know who your soulmate is?"

"Yeah, I know who he is. But he's given me no indication that he knows I am his soulmate. And I'm not going to rock that particular boat just yet. I'd rather remain his friend right now."

Serena nodded, her mind spinning a little as to who Fletch could possibly be referring to. He touched the side of his nose, and she knew that she had been caught out, a guilty flush spreading across her face as she looked down at the floor. "I have a curious mind, Fletch, of course I want to know. I'll try to keep my prying ways away from you."

"That's okay, Ms Campbell, I know that it's something people usually like talking about. And I would, but for wanting to keep things quiet for the time being. Just like you don't want to reveal to me who your soulmate is. Let me guess, he doesn't measure up to your standards?" He had an obvious teasing tone in his voice, and so she felt comfortable enough to shake her head. "Then what?"

"They just weren't what I expected. But if I do wrap my mind around this, if I become accustomed to this situation, you will be the first person I tell." He nodded a little as she slipped off the exam table and smoothed her blouse over her torso. "Now, I have a mechanic to contact, and a cab to book. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Sounds like a plan."

They nodded to each other, and Serena slipped past him to head over to her office. This was a fine kettle of fish that she now found herself in, as she thought back to her meeting with Bernie. Though it hadn't been for very long, it had been enough for her to meet her soulmate and to receive the words that would be the last she ever spoke to her.


	2. Chapter 2

"Look out! Why would you have that tattooed on your torso, Ms Campbell?"

Whirling around, she saw Jasmine Burrows standing in the doorway, giving her a weird look. Feeling self-conscious, she tugged the scrub top down lower, hoping that her words were no longer visible. "Don't you know anything about the soulmate words?" The young woman shook her head. "Ah. Well. These are the last words I will ever say to the person I am fated to be with."

"You believe that romantic stuff? Really, there's no such thing as true love and soulmates. It's just a fantasy that people buy into, to make them think there's something or someone pulling the strings. Life is too capricious for that to be true."

Serena sighed a little as she shrugged. "I didn't believe in it, truly, until these words appeared a few months ago. Not that I've done anything to act on these words, or rather, the person who caused them to come into focus. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a surgery to get to." She gave Jasmine a quick smile before slipping past her and heading down to theatre.

The routine surgery didn't take long, and then she was changing back into her clothes and heading back to her office. She wasn't there long before Raf came bursting in, a panicked, anxious, look on his face. "Serena!"

"What's wrong?" she asked as she dropped the file she had been looking at onto her desk.

"Fletch was stabbed. I need you, I need you to…"

"Of course, let me just get changed once more." She passed by him, giving his shoulder a soft pat before racing down to the locker room and tugging on a fresh set of scrubs. Only taking time to hang her necklace up in her locker, she scurried into the hallway and frantically looked for Raf, or Morven, or anyone who knew what was going on. Finally, she spotted them wheeling a gurney with Fletch's too still form on top of it, Raf by his side, looking positively distraught. Serena's hand ghosted to the words on her hip, wondering if Raf was the one who Fletch had been speaking about so many months ago. Shaking her head a little, she focused on Fletch, taking stock of what they would need to do.

As they guided him to the operating theatre in AAU, she spotted Bernie getting up from the nurse's station and approach them. "I just heard. Do you…"

"Yes, scrub in, please."

Their eyes met, and Serena gave her a tiny smile as she nodded, and together they went into the theatre, quickly cleaning their hands before allowing the scrub nurse to help them into gowns and gloves. It was amazing how seamlessly they moved, as if they were one body. Which, she supposed, they could be considered, given that they were soulmates. Only Bernie didn't know that about her just yet. Despite their deepening friendship, Serena hadn't wanted to rock the boat between them, especially since Bernie thought she was thoroughly heterosexual. And now was certainly not the time to go saying to her that she fancied something more than friendship, oh, and, by the by, we're soulmates.

Finally, finally, they managed to staunch the bleeding and stabilize Fletch, allowing Raf to take him up to ICU whilst they sank to the ground, using the wall of theatre to hold up their exhausted bodies. Serena looked at Bernie, taking in everything about her, seeing how emotional she was. "Bernie? What's wrong?" she asked as she reached out, touching the woman's shoulder softly.

Those lovely brown eyes met hers, and Serena felt her heart clench at the pain evident in Bernie's gaze. "Our friend and colleague is fighting for his life, all because I didn't take seriously his concerns about the man who stabbed him. He could die and orphan his children, and it would be all my fault."

"He won't die, it's not his time."

"How can you say that with such certainty?"

"Well, he didn't say his soulmate words yet, so it's not the end. And you, my dear, are a brave, bold, fearless, wonderful, surgeon, who wouldn't be caught off guard by something like this. You did a marvelous job today."

A part of Serena's heart ached to say these things to Bernie, to not be able to fully speak what was on her heart, and then, all rational thought fled her mind as Bernie closed the small gap between them, capturing her lips in a passionate kiss. It was everything she had been daydreaming of, since she had received her words and understood their meaning, but still, she pulled back a little to look at Bernie once more, desire making her gaze hazy. It was clear that Bernie wanted to kiss just as much as she did, so Serena leaned in once more and kissed her again, cupping Bernie's elbow and tugging her closer, ever closer, trying to disappear into Bernie.

A sudden sound outside the theatre finally caught their attention, and they sprang apart quickly. A bright blush stained Bernie's cheeks as she scrambled to her feet, helping Serena up. And though she desperately wanted to keep hold of Bernie's hand, to continue having a connection to the present, it was not to be, as Bernie slowly retracted her hand, shoving both into her pockets as she stared at Serena. "I, I need to go. I'm sorry."

Dumbly, she nodded, watching as Bernie left her. There was so much that she wanted to say, but she didn't know how to. Especially now that she knew how sweet Bernie's lips were. Once more, she touched the words above her hip, wondering if Bernie had made the connection between their chemistry and the words that were written somewhere on her body.

Releasing the breath she hadn't realized she was holding, Serena nodded to the people who were coming in to clean up the theatre. Stumbling out into the hallway, she slowly made her way down to the locker room, changing into her clothes once more. A part of her was still in a haze, replaying the way Bernie's lips felt against hers, the way that Bernie's hands had felt spreading out on her back. Every sensation had felt so right and perfect, and her heart longed to shout to the world that Bernie was meant to be hers until the end of time.

Somehow, Serena made it back to the office and heavily took a seat, staring at the file she had previously wanted to work on. She knew there were words on the pages, but she couldn't quite seem to make out what they were saying. A part of her knew that the adrenaline rush from working so hard to save Fletch combined with that delicious kiss were going to throw her off kilter, but she also knew that she had to remain professional throughout the rest of her shift. The others looked to her to lead AAU, to keep the ship afloat and moving like a well-oiled machine, and she vowed to do that for her team, they deserved that, at least.

Shaking her head a little, she let out a long breath and stood up, heading over to the Keurig machine to brew herself a cup of coffee in order to help settle the restless feeling in her heart. Whilst it was being made, she went back to her desk and picked up the file once more, still wondering how she would face Bernie tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

Serena had tried to come to work a little later than normal, hoping she could avoid running into Bernie before she was properly ready to do so. That was not to be, since Bernie managed to squeeze onto the lift just as the doors were closing, and Serena let out a long breath as she stared at the ceiling, trying to think of something to say. "I've never kissed a woman before," she blurted out, wincing at her forwardness. She had wanted to make up a lie, to say that she had been at a party in Stepney once, and made out with some hot young thing, but as always happened when she was a little flustered, truth just poured from her lips.

"I could tell."

"Really?" she asked, feeling offended at the insinuation that she was inexperienced.

"Don't think that's a bad thing. Besides, it was a one-time thing, we were just letting off steam from a tense surgery, and things got out of hand. I won't deny that we have chemistry, that much is clear, but perhaps we should keep that to a more professional level and confine it to theatre?"

That was not how Serena was expecting their conversation to go, and she nodded hesitantly, not really wanting to agree, but willing to do whatever it took to keep Bernie in her life. Absently, her hand touched the words above her hip, and she tracked the way Bernie's eyes followed the movement, her own hand fluttering against her ribs. "I suppose. Do, do you have a tattoo on your side? I know that that's a thing in the army. Do you think I could take a look?"

The hand that she was watching clamped down hard on Bernie's side, and she shook her head a little. "It was something that I got on a whim, really. I don't let anyone look at it. Sorry."

Serena shrugged a little as she stared at the numbers creeping up towards their floor. "All right, well, if you need anything, just let me know."

Bernie nodded a little as the elevator doors opened, and together they stepped out of the lift, branching off to go their separate ways as they started their shift. It wasn't until Serena took a seat behind her desk that she realized Bernie had very obviously styled her hair that morning, the usual bird's nest of curls smoothed into some semblance of control, and a gleeful smile spread across her lips at the thought that perhaps the woman had purposely done that for her.

Sighing a little, she rested her cheek in her hand as she booted up her computer and scrolled through her emails, responding to some, leaving others for later. Still, she felt nervous energy thrumming through her body, and so she popped to her feet and headed for the door, running into Bernie as she stepped out. "Sorry," she murmured as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, giving Bernie a soft smile. The gesture was mirrored, which caused Serena's smile to grow.

"No, I'm glad I caught you. I need a consultation on something." Bernie held out a tablet for Serena to look over, and she tried to focus on what Bernie was saying, not on the way her fingers skimmed over the screen, of how those same fingers might feel trailing across her skin, how they might feel touching her breasts, her arse, her… "Serena!"

"Oh, yes, I agree. You're totally thinking in the right direction." She flashed Bernie a too bright smile, and the woman nodded, giving her a knowing look before nodding and turning on her heel. It almost seemed to Serena that there was an extra swing in her hips as she walked away, and she let her head thump heavily back against the door frame, wincing slightly at the sting that caused.

Squaring her shoulders, Serena decided that the only thing to do was talk to Fletch, even if he was in a coma and couldn't respond to her. He had been the first one to find out about her words, after all, and it was only right she talk this out with him. Moving over to the stairwell, she hurriedly climbed up to the ICU, feeling slightly out of breath as she came to a stop on the right floor. It didn't take long to find where Fletch was recuperating, and she took a deep breath as she stopped in front of his bed and taking a good, long, look at his still form.

"I think I know who has your words now, Fletch, and I think that he has the same fears as you, of rocking the boat and ruining a good thing. I recognize the look, since it's the same one that I have. And I think my soulmate might know she's mine, but is shying away from acknowledging that. What a fine kettle of fish this is, eh?"

Reaching out, Serena patted his foot, trying to keep from tearing up. It was so frustrating to be in this position, to be avoided by the woman who had become her best friend over the last few weeks, and she wondered how they would ever move past that point. Even if Bernie never wanted to have a relationship with her, Serena still wanted to be around her best friend. And it seemed like that wouldn't be the case ever again. The genie was released from the bottle, and she couldn't seem to find a way to him back.

Fletch winced in pain, and she wondered if his pain relief was adequate. Looking at his chart, she noticed that it was entirely within the right limits, and that she couldn't really make adjustments to it, even if she wanted to. Letting out a deep breath, she gave him a soft smile before getting ready to leave the room. "We deserve to be happy with our soulmates, Fletch, and when you're better, you're going after Raf with everything you have."

Knowing that she had to get back to work, Serena took a deep breath and slowly made her way back down to AAU, continuing to think about her dilemma. In her heart, she knew exactly what she wanted, but also knew that she couldn't push Bernie into something too quickly. From the little she knew about the woman's personal life, her last two relationships had ended in disaster, and if this was going to last, like it was supposed to, she wanted a good foundation.

As she went to turn into their office, her mind still distracted with thoughts of Bernie, she bumped into the soft form of another body. Looking up, she first took in the bemused expression on Bernie's face and shrugged a little as a soft blush spread across her face. "Careful there, Campbell. One might think that you're hitting on me deliberately."

She giggled lightly as they headed inside. "Maybe I am, Bernie. Would it really be that bad?"

"I thought we were keeping this confined to theatre?" she asked as they sat behind their desks, and Serena hurriedly tried to mask the hurt she knew was evident on her face.

"I flirt with everyone and everything. Don't think yourself so special," Serena shot back, regretting the words the instant they left her lips. Still, there was no calling them back, and she could only hope that this wouldn't set back their relationship too much, and that maybe, just maybe, this was the first step to something greater.


	4. Chapter 4

They had been dancing closer and closer to something that was a little bit more like the relationship that she wanted, and Serena couldn't be happier. That was why she was so glad to get their coffee and a pain au chocolat to make up for the slight hangover she was experiencing that morning, after their date that was not a date. Glancing over at Bernie, she noticed that she was deep in conversation with Hanssen, and she couldn't help but wonder what they were discussing so intently.

Frowning a little, she picked up her coffee and hovered what she hoped was an appropriate distance away from them, not wanting to appear like she was eavesdropping. Finally, Hanssen was glancing over at her and giving her a knowing smirk before he turned on his heel and heading away from them. Bernie sidled over to her side, and she held up the bag containing her pastry. "It's medicinal, and I blame you," she sang out, listening to Bernie chuckle as she shook her head.

"I told you to quit while you were ahead last night."

"Yes, well, you were the one who wanted to relax at an Italian restaurant with an extensive wine list."

"You were free to stop at any time."

"I'm sorry, have we met?" she said as she extended her hand. Bernie clasped it tightly, and the touch was electric. She allowed the touch to linger as she gazed up into Bernie's eyes, feeling her breath catch in her throat. If there hadn't been so many people milling around, she would have leaned up on her toes and kissed the woman senseless, but there was no way she could make a scene in front of Pulses.

"Hush," Bernie replied as she lightly smacked her upper arm with the papers in her hand.

"Is that from Hanssen?" They started for the elevator, and the longer Bernie went without answering her, the more she felt like she was standing on shifting sand. "Bernie?" she asked as she reached out and touched her sleeve hesitantly, wanting to get the woman's focus on her and not the object in her hands.

"Oh, what? Yes, yes, this is from Hanssen," she replied, distraction bleeding from every word she spoke, which did little to assuage the nervous fluttering in Serena's heart. The rest of the short ride up to AAU was quiet, as if neither really knew what to say to each other, though Serena made certain to stand close to her, wanting that, if they couldn't talk.

They parted ways shortly after Bernie had dropped her belongings off in the office, and it took everything in Serena to not open the envelope that was so conspicuously sitting on her desk. A part of her wished that Bernie had stayed around a moment, since she wanted to discuss what was going on there, but she knew that they were both busier than busy. Rubbing her hip absently, she sighed before taking a seat behind her desk and booting her computer up.

"Serena, I'm sorry, we just have to talk about this," Bernie said as she burst back into the office, closing the door behind her and drawing the blinds as she picked up the packet she'd been given earlier. "There's a secondment open, in Kiev, that Hanssen wants me to go on, since it would be right up my alley. It would be opening a trauma unit at their hospital, like I've done here already."

She nodded a little, trying to comprehend her words. "And do you know what answer you'll give him?" she asked, hating how her voice trembled just the tiniest bit as she stood up and closed the small distance between them, reaching out to touch her sleeve lightly.

Bernie looked away from her to stare at the floor, her face contorting through a few expressions before she raised her eyes once more to meet Serena's gaze evenly. "I told him that I would need a little time to decide what choice I would be making. Though, I suppose, that I might be persuaded in way…?" Serena chuckled lowly as she reached up to brush her fingers against Bernie's cheek. "Does persuasion work well for you?" she asked, making certain to add a certain husky tone to her voice, watching Bernie swallow thickly as she nodded. Serena bit her lip a little as she leaned in even closer to the woman she was fast falling in love with, and then her eyes were looking down to watch as Bernie closed that last tiny gap between them before claiming her lips in a sweet kiss. This was their second one, and while it was much less frenzied than the first, there was still a hunger to it that filled her with a warmth that she hadn't experienced for ages. "I think I'm falling in love with you," she whispered as they pulled away from each other, and Bernie unexpectedly stiffened in her arms before pulling away from her.

There was a confusion in her eyes, and Serena felt like the solid ground around her had suddenly crumbled as Bernie then began to back away from her, shaking her head a little. "You, you're moving way too fast. Maybe you need to take a few days to think about things, but I guess that I have my answer now." Fully pulling away from Serena at least, she hurriedly grabbed her coat and bag before fairly fleeing from their office and turning towards the doors. It took Serena a moment to process what had just happened, and then she was running after her, hoping that she could catch the woman, could fix the mistake that she had just made.

"Bernie! Wait! We can talk about this!" she cried out, not caring that her colleagues could hear the desperation in her voice.

"Don't Serena, I've made my choice!"

And before she could say anything more, Bernie had pushed through the door and was running away from her, from the relationship that Serena thought they had been building. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes, but she knew that she would lose more respect by behaving like a stereotypical jilted lover, so she stiffened her spine and slowly turned back to the office, catching Raf and Fletch looking at her in sympathy. Shaking her head a little, she closed herself into the office, pulling the blinds so that no one could look in. Once that was done, she stumbled over to her desk and sank heavily into her chair, burying her face in her hands as she finally gave in to her tears. It felt good to let go, but she knew that she couldn't indulge in her grief for very long, since she still had a department to run. By herself, since it seemed that Bernie was now going to fuck off to Kiev, taking her heart with her.

Someone knocked softly on her door, and she almost knew that it was Raf, coming to check on her. Taking a few deep breaths, she dried her eyes and then lifted her head. "Come in," she managed to croak out, and she watched the door open to reveal her friend. "How many people saw that little display?"

"More than you would like, Serena. Fletch is trying to distract the staff by reminding them that they have jobs to do. What happened?"  
"Bernie is going to Kiev because I got too attached too quickly. I went and fell in love with my best friend, and she doesn't feel the same way, so I've lost out twice." She felt her lower lip begin to quiver once more, and then Raf was resting his hand on her shoulder, which opened the floodgates once more. Turning into him, she allowed herself to sob against his chest, venting all her grief and confusion as he comforted her as best he could.


	5. Chapter 5

Serena felt like she was staring into space for the hundredth time just that hour, and shook her head as she caught herself. The whole department knew that she was mooning over Bernie, that she had become snappish and cold towards them when they caught her zoning out, and had been compensating for that. She knew that Raf was doing a majority of the damage control behind her back, and she was eternally grateful for that. Which just made it all the worse when she would reach the end of her shift and sit behind her computer, staring at an open email that mocked her and her lack of words. Serena knew that she needed to reach out to Bernie, to tell her how much she was missed, but she just couldn't find the words to fill the screen.

Letting out a deep sigh, she pushed away from her desk and stumbled over to her coat, slowly putting it on as she thought about what she needed to do when she got home that evening. Jason had likely been home for hours, since she had been stuck late due to a surgical complication. Before she picked her bag up from the ground, she decided to lean in one last time to refresh her email, hoping that Bernie had been the one to reach out, to let her know that she was okay, and Serena didn't need to worry about her quite so much. There was nothing there, and her shoulders slumped as she took hold of her bag and stood up straight, making her way out into the cool evening.

On the drive home, Serena thought about contacting Henrik to see how much longer Bernie would be in Kiev, but she felt that would be showing her weakness a little more publicly, and so she shook that idea off to the back of her head. If Bernie hadn't reached out in another two weeks, she might think about swallowing her pride a little and demanding that he tell her what Bernie had planned and when she was going to return.

Somehow, she made it home safely, though she didn't remember anything about the drive, which told her that she had been on autopilot the entire time. Letting out a deep sigh, she got out of her car and trudged inside, not looking forward to making supper with how tired she was. Thankfully, when she opened the door, she smelled the scent of her favorite fish and chips place, and smiled as she closed the door. "I'm finally home, Jason!" she called out as she hung her coat up on its peg.

"Nurse Fletcher called me when you left, so I had the chippy deliver your usual order. The lady who took it said that she is grateful that you keep your card on file, since I couldn't find where you keep the petty cash."

She smiled as she nodded, heading over to the counter and pulled out the open bottle of shiraz that was there, yanking out the cork and filling a glass almost to the brim before taking a seat at the table and sliding the takeout box over in front of her. "Did you eat already?"

"Yes, Auntie Serena. I was just staying up until you got home, since I have an early shift tomorrow. I really hope Doctor Bernie comes home soon, you keep forgetting to take care of yourself."

Serena didn't know what to say in reply, though she had to wonder how much she had let herself go if Jason could pick up on the fact that things were not normal with her. "I'm hoping that she comes home soon, too, Jason. Thank you again for ordering supper for me." He nodded before turning around and heading into the hall. She listened to his feet climb the stairs before she tucked into her meal, finding herself famished. And that was when she realized that she hadn't taken time to actually eat on her short lunchbreak. Jason was right, something did need to change in her life, because she couldn't continue on like this, because she was likely to head for a complete breakdown if they didn't.

She finished her meal before her wine, and she tossed out the box before heading into the living room and collapsing onto the sofa, wine glass in hand as she flipped on the telly, searching for something to watch that would both entertain her and help her to forget that she was missing Bernie almost as much as she would miss her right arm if it was removed just as suddenly as her best friend had been. And that, truly, was what made her heart ache the most. She didn't care if Bernie was her destined soulmate or not, she just cared that her best friend had decided to completely cut off contact with her. It was almost as if she had figured out that they shared a common link, and didn't want to face that reality. Finally, she settled on an old episode of _Miss Marple_ , and stared at the screen as she continued to sip at her wine.

Finishing up her wine, Serena groaned before pushing herself to her feet and padding back into the kitchen, rinsing out her glass before replacing the cork and sliding the bottle back into place. Wrapping her hands around the counter, she took a look out the window and found only her reflection looking back at her sadly. Blinking back fresh tears, Serena turned and made her way upstairs, bringing her tablet along with her as she disappeared into the bathroom. Setting the tablet so that she could watch it while she was in the tub, Serena slowly stripped, folding her blouse and trousers neatly so that she could put them away in her closet later before dropping her pants into the hamper. Then she was stepping into the tub and turning the water on, letting it splash down against her foot as she got it to the right temperature before sticking the plug in and then making herself comfortable.

Reaching out, she tapped on YouTube and began to play the list that she had curated for relaxing to, letting it play as she let her head thump back against wall, listening to the voice in the video wash over her as she stared up at the ceiling. And the longer she listened to the story, the closer she grew to crying once more, until large tears were rolling down her face. She didn't bother to wipe them away, knowing that she needed to get the sorrow out of her heart before she went to sleep. She stayed in the bath water until it turned too cool to be pleasant any longer, and then she pulled the plug, allowing it to drain as she stood up, still listening to her video as she wrapped a towel around her body and stepped out, going to the sink so that she could moisturize her face before heading into her bedroom with her tablet, allowing the towel to drop to the floor as she pulled on a pair of pyjamas. Pausing the video, she picked up the towel and padded back into the bathroom, dropping it in the hamper before grabbing her clothes and bringing them back into the bedroom.

It wasn't until she had crawled into bed that she realized that no matter what she had tried to do with her day, she had still ended up thinking about Bernie, missing Bernie, wishing Bernie was next to her in bed so that she cuddle up close to her. Instead, all she had was a pillow that she hugged tightly to her chest as she forced herself to clear her mind and think of nothing but the welcome arms of sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

A commotion outside Serena's office caught her attention a few days later, and she quickly got to her feet, peeking her head outside to see what was going on. Her eyes widened when she saw that Bernie was standing there, a slight look of panic on her face. It took everything in Serena to keep from blindly turning and running away from the situation, but she still lifted her chin a little in open defiance before stepping back into her office and closing the door, locking it firmly before taking her seat once more. Absently, she rubbed the words on her torso, feeling them grow warm beneath her touch. She hadn't noticed until now that the words could change like that, though she supposed that it might also be a result of the friction of her hand rubbing the fabric of her blouse across them.

The handle to the office jiggled before a familiar knocking sounded on it, and Serena braced herself to hear Bernie's voice for the first time in weeks. "Serena, let me in!"

"I'd rather not right now, Bernie."

"I can get Fletch to find the key."

Knowing that she was correct, Serena let out a frustrated sigh as she got to her feet and headed over to the door, unlocking it before wrenching the door open. "I hope you know that I have nothing to say to you right now."

Bernie had the good graces to at least look a bit ashamed as she came through the door to closed it behind her. "I know, I've been a rubbish friend."

"Yes, you have. Look, I don't care if you don't love me, if you think that I'm moving too fast, but after everything that I went through with Edward and Robbie, I don't want to just let you slip through my fingers. But you ran instead of letting us find out if there was a place we could meet in the middle."

"I know. I just…I didn't want to have this talk here. I wanted to do it in a safe place, like your home, but I guess that we're doing it here." Serena cocked up an eyebrow as she nodded. Looking over Bernie's shoulder, she saw that Jason and Fletch were standing outside the window, holding signs that were urging her to tell Bernie that she still loved her. "Hey, am I boring you?" her soulmate asked sharply, and Serena shook her head, going around to the windows and closing the blinds before she took a seat on the table by the coffee maker, knowing that their desks were not an appropriate place to have the coming discussion.

"Join me?"

Bernie nodded and took a seat next to her, leaning her back against the filing cabinet as she looked at her. "I wanted to write you. I wanted to call. But there was something that was holding me back. I don't like to form attachments so quickly, because the last time I did that, I nearly destroyed my family. And I did lose my marriage. It's terrifying to be our age and realise that everything you thought you could be certain about in this life is wrong. I can't be brave like you."

"I'm not brave."

"My god, do you hear yourself? You're one of the bravest women I know! Two kisses and you were ready to commit your life to mine, to be out and proud and known as a bisexual woman, and I couldn't even find the words in my heart to tell her that I did feel the same way. Maybe not quite as deeply as she did, but enough to where there was the possibility of something more."

"And how do we ensure that this possibility grows into that more?" Serena asked, feeling all her hurt and anger and jealousy fade away as she looked into Bernie's eyes, feeling like she was drowning in them as she waited for her to answer. Slowly, her head cocked to one side and then Bernie was focusing in on her lips, which caused her breathing to become erratic as they leaned in closer together. "Well?" she finally whispered before licking her lips.

"You could give me a reason to stay?"

Serena could tell that she had tried to sound more commanding when she said that, but it had ended up coming out as a question, and she dipped her chin in order to look up at the woman she loved through her eyelashes, trying to give her a sultry look. "Well, will this do?" she said huskily as she reached her hand out and cupped Bernie's head, pulling her in close before capturing her lips in a deep, torrid, kiss. A soft groan tumbled from her lips when Bernie returned the kiss, her arms closing around her waist as her hands hooked on her shoulders. She gave in as the woman pressed her backwards, allowing her to deepen the kiss as their hands ran up and down their bodies.

Finally, though, Serena knew that she had to end the kiss, since they were getting very close to something that they couldn't stop, and so she fitted her hand between their bodies and pushed against Bernie's sternum, taking care not to apply too much pressure, as she knew that there were still healing scars there. "What?"

"We should put a pin in this before we end up naked and in a thoroughly compromising situation. Can you imagine Henrik's face if he unlocked our door and found us in flagrante delicto?"

Bernie let out one of her wonderful laughs, and helped them to sit up. After straightening Serena's hair, she leaned in for another, softer, kiss. "I suppose that that would be a bad thing. Though I don't know which would be worse – being caught by him or being caught by my commanding officer when Alex and I were furtively trying to keep things literally in the closet."

Serena giggled as she nodded, standing and stretching as she let out a few soft groans. "Well, I know a much more comfortable place than a closet for you to wile away time with me. If you want to head to my place, that is." She knew what she was suggesting to Bernie, and she watched Bernie swallow thickly before she nodded, her pupils dilated with desire. "I trust you to take care of me, Bernie Wolfe."

"I know."

"You've hurt me, already. I don't like to beat a dead horse, but there it is. This might be my last chance to try and connect?" She smiled a little at Bernie, feeling her lower lip wobble a little. Bernie nodded and leaned in to kiss her sweetly, as if to try and reassure her. Serena sighed gently as she returned the kiss. "Let's head home, soldier."

Bernie gave her another nod and picked up her bag, slinging it over her shoulder as she went over to the door and unlocked it, holding it open for her. "After you, fräulein," she said, and Serena waggled her eyebrows at her before sashaying out of the room. It didn't take long for her partner to catch up to her, and when Serena felt her hand nudging against hers, she couldn't help but clasp it, wanting to remind herself that Bernie was truly there, and that they were going to take this next step in their relationship.


	7. Chapter 7

"I hope someone tells Jason that we went home together," Bernie said as she clambered out of Serena's car. "After all, I don't want to have him walking in on us."

Serena let out a little laugh as she shook her head. "My door has a lock on it, so we can keep everything between us private." Rubbing her hands together, she took a deep breath as she hung her coat on the hook and then dropped her purse onto the counter. "Would it be silly to say that I feel as nervous as a schoolgirl?" she asked lowly as she turned to face Bernie. "I mean, it's not like I'm a virgin, haven't been one of those since I was fourteen. I, I just don't want to disappoint you."

"I don't think that you could ever disappoint me, Serena." Bernie pinned her with her gaze, and she finally nodded a little as Bernie stepped close to her, moving her back towards the coat hangers, and she instinctively reached up to grab hold of them while Bernie spread her palms out on the wall, trapping her between her arms as she leaned in for a deep kiss. Slowly, her eyes closed, and she gave herself over to the waves of pleasure that were radiating over her body. "This is everything that I wanted to do the entire time I was in Kiev, and yet I stayed away longer, trying to convince myself that I wasn't falling for my best friend."

"Fall for me, darling," she purred out as she dropped her arms onto Bernie's shoulders, pushing her coat off her body as she began to push her backwards until they were stopped by the counter. It was so easy to slide her hands beneath the sweater Bernie was wearing, though her hands seemed to skitter over her skin differently, as it was so much softer than she had expected. "Or rather, follow me."

She took hold of Bernie's hand and led her over to the staircase. It was hard to remember to go slowly, since Bernie wasn't familiar with her house, with the stairs, and so she found herself tripping over the familiar stairs in her effort to be careful. "I really don't think we want to go to A&E, Serena," Bernie said with a chuckle as she tipped forward on the last step, nearly overcorrecting herself in an effort to stand up straight. "I can just imagine the gossip that Connie Beauchamp would let spread through the wards."

"She would keep her mouth shut if she knew what was good for her," Serena quickly shot back, narrowing her eyes at Bernie before tugging her into her bedroom. Once they were both inside, Serena turned the lock before spinning around to face Bernie. "After all, I've been her boss on more than one occasion, so she knows what side her bread is buttered on." Bernie laughed, causing Serena to shiver at the sound, and then the woman was closing the distance between them, burying her fingers in Serena's shaggy hair in order to pull her close as she devoured her lips. These kisses were so different from the ones that they had exchanged thus far, as if by being alone in her room had freed something that was holding Bernie back, and she sighed softly as they made their way over to the bed.

The first thing that Bernie did was to pull the blouse Serena was wearing off her shoulders, running her fingers along the neckline of her shell before slipping one hand beneath it to cup her breast, her fingers teasing her nipple into a stiffened peak in an instant. A quiet groan tumbled from her lips as they both frantically tugged the thin, silky, material up her torso and off her body, letting it fall where it may. As Bernie worked on her bra, Serena set about undressing her, though she couldn't help but wonder where her soulmate words were. That thought was soon shoved from her mind when she felt cool air against her sensitive breasts, before a pair of warm lips closed around one of her nipples, her teeth scraping lightly against it. The move sent shivers down her spine, and Serena found herself collapsing against the mattress as Bernie continued to suck and kiss her way across her skin as her fingers fumbled with the fly on her trousers.

There was a sharp gasp and she pushed herself up on her elbows to look at Bernie. "What is it?" she gasped out, her breathing already a bit raggedy.

"You have your words already."

"Yes, but I've never figured out who I'm supposed to be with." It was a small lie, but she didn't want to scare Bernie away now that she had her back. It would simply be too overwhelming, and then she'd never get to spend any time with her soulmate, and that was the last thing that she wanted. "Does, does that bother you?"

"No. I just never thought I'd see someone with the mark. Marcus and I didn't share them, nor did Alex and I. I mean, I've assumed they were real, but getting the confirmation is a bit comforting." Bernie gave her a hopeful smile before rolling her panties down her legs and then pulling them apart to fit herself between Serena's thighs.

It had been a long time since someone had gone down on her, but Bernie's lips and tongue were enough to get her to see stars as she expertly ramped Serena's body up to that tight, heady, feeling right before she orgasmed. And then, she was pulling away from Serena, and she frowned as she fought to get her breathing under control enough to say something. Then, she felt her lover's fingers brush against her vulva, teasing her even more. Serena didn't know how her body could feel even more pleasure, but she was reaching a new high as Bernie added her lips and tongue back to the mix. It seemed like it was only seconds before she was falling over the edge into one of the strongest orgasms she had ever had, and she desperately tried not to squeeze her thighs too tightly around her head.

Her body felt boneless as she flopped back against the bed. Bernie joined her moments later, and Serena welcomed the feel of her naked body spooning up against hers. "Was that good for you?" she gasped out, and Serena nodded as she snuggled back tighter to Bernie, welcoming her arm around her waist. "Good. It was different to do that that way, but I was hoping that it would please you."

"Can I practice on you?" she asked, still feeling a little horny.

"Maybe a little later. It was a long flight, and I came to the hospital right from the airport, so I'm a bit exhausted. I just wanted to make certain that we reconnected before I passed out."

Serena nodded as she allowed her eyes to flutter closed. "Then we'll wake up together in the morning. For the first time." Bernie nodded as her hand slid down to cover the words on her torso. The move was so possessive, and Serena hoped that even though they had danced around the truth of their connection, Bernie could feel just how much she belonged with her, and that they would have a long, wonderful, life together.


	8. Chapter 8

They had been in the drunken, heady, stage of a new romance for the last two weeks, but Raf and Fletch were still teasing them about how sappy they were behaving, even though Serena thought they were doing a completely fine job of acting at least slightly normal at work. And then, Bernie went and threw a spanner in that notion.

They had been scheduled opposing shifts, and her lover had already headed for home by the time Serena arrived, so she assumed that she would be looking forward to a long, tiresome, day without her. From the looks that Raf and Fletch were giving her, though, she knew that something was up. "Good morning, boys," she said carefully as she glanced between the two of them. "What has those looks on your faces today?"

"You'll see, Serena."

Fixing a hard look on Raf, she shook her head before heading down to her office and unlocking it. Before she could even turn the lights on, the overwhelming scent of flowers filling her senses. Frowning a little, she flipped the switch to bathe the room in light, and a soft gasp escaped her lips as she looked at the largest bouquet of flowers that she had ever received in her life. Even when Edward was trying to buy her forgiveness, he hadn't been this extravagant. Slowly, her frown melted into a small smile as she stepped over to her desk and took a seat, staring at the bouquet as a warm feeling of love swept over her heart.

Reaching out, she plucked the card from the center of the arrangement, sliding it from the ivory envelope and opening it to see Bernie's handwriting. It was a little less crabbed than usual, which told her that Bernie had taken her time to write those words. _I know, this is over the top, but you deserve over the top. You deserve to be shown just how much you are adored. And though we won't see each other until tonight, I wanted to let you know that I love you. It took me a while to wrap my mind around those words, but they're true. I'll say them to you tonight, when you're home, but until then, I love you. Bernie_

She felt tears prickle her eyes as she swallowed thickly. Looking up, she found Raf and Fletch standing in the doorway, knowing smirks on both their faces. "Let me guess, you two were in on this?"

"We had to help guide her from her car to the office, yeah," Fletch said as they stepped into the office. "There is something inherently sweet about this, Serena. Though I have to ask, did you two have a fight already? Usually I only go this over the top when I've stepped way out of line."

She chuckled as she shook her head, reaching out to stroke the petals of one of the tulips. "No, she just told me something that she hasn't been able to say to me yet. I am hoping that this shift passes quickly, so that I can go home and hear what she wrote."

Serena knew that she sounded twitterpated in that moment, and that they recognized the soft sound in her voice, but were wisely choosing not to comment on it, even if Fletch was giving her an even larger smirk. "Well, now that you've said something, the likelihood of it being an easy, quick, shift has gone down quite a bit," Raf teased, and she rolled her eyes at him before starting to unpack her bag, getting things set up for her shift as she listened to them leave. Looking up, though, she was surprised to see that Fletch had stayed behind, taking a seat in the chair next to her desk, all hints of mirth gone from his face.

"What is it, Fletch?" she asked kindly, listening to him clear his throat a little as he scooted the chair closer to her side, as if he wanted to make certain that he wouldn't be overheard.

"Have you found her words, then?" he asked, searching her eyes for some sort of confirmation, some comfort, and she felt her eyebrows draw together a little as she shook her head. "How do you know that you love her, then?"

"Because we were meant for each other. Even if we didn't share the soulmate bond, I think that we would have ended up together. She is literally my other half, and I don't know what I would do without her. Though I suppose that my feelings are affected by the fact that I do know that she is my soulmate. Why? Are you think about telling Raf that he's your soulmate?"

Fletch's eyes widened as the blood drained from his face. "How did you know that?"

"There were little tells, like the way that you watch him when you think no one is looking, when you think he isn't looking. The tenderness in your voice when you talk about him. The fact that you trust your children with him, enough to live with him and start building a family. I rather think the two of you knew, as well, that you were meant to be together, even if you haven't admitted that to each other yet. Now that I know more about being with your soulmate, I really believe that there is a physical pull that guides us together. So, your next logical step will be to tell him that you have feelings for him. And Bernie and I can watch the Fletchlings Sunday so you can do just that."

"What? Such short notice?"

"I know that both of you have the day off, and Bernie works the morning shift, so…" She gave him an expectant look, and he blushed a little as he glanced away from her. "Look, Adrian, you were stabbed. You nearly died. The only reason I knew that you would pull through is because your words never disappeared. At least humour a sappy old lesbian, and try to reach out."

"You're not old, Serena, though you can be a tad sappy," he shot back, and she chuckled a little as she shrugged. "And persistent as the day is long. You won't let this go, will you?"

"Probably not. But being persistent has always served me well. So, will you tell him? For me?"

There was a pregnant pause before Fletch answered her. "And if there's fallout?"

"Then you're welcome to spend more time at our house. Well, it's still my house, since she insists on keeping her flat, just in case, but I think of it as ours now. And a full house is a happy home, or so my mother used to say. It was one of the few, happy, memories I have of her."

She hadn't realized that her fingers had twisted together until she looked down at them and recognized the pain that was just registering in her brain. "I will keep that in mind, Serena." He reached out and covered her hands with one of his own, and she smiled at him, hoping that she could make him feel a little better with this move forward.

"And just think, at least your kids already love him, so it will be easier to go from Uncle Raf to Papa Raf."

"Ah, come on, you know it would be Daddy di Luca," he shot back, and Serena snorted a little before breaking into a full-on laugh. "I may have been thinking up names in my head for the last few weeks. When you're stuck in a hospital bed, there isn't that much to do, after all."

"So I've heard. All right, we'll see you Sunday at some point." She turned her hands over to grip his, squeezing it lightly before letting him get up and continue on with his day. And as he left her office, they shared a gentle smile, Serena hoping that this wouldn't blow up in all their faces.


	9. Chapter 9

Serena sighed as Raf and Fletch left with the children the following Sunday. The revelation of Fletch's feelings for the man had been met with tender disbelief, as Raf hadn't been certain that he was hearing his words correctly at first. And then, Raf had told Fletch that he had been hoping that he would take the first step, if he truly felt things for him, since he didn't think he would ever have the courage to admit what he felt in his heart.

When Fletch had admitted that Serena had given him that push, Raf had insisted on treating them to a homemade lunch the following Sunday, and Bernie had been quick to agree. And now, as the newly minted family left their home, Serena let out a satisfied sigh as she closed the door and then turned to look at her lover. "So, about soulmate words. Do you still feel like they're a folk tale?"

"No."

"Then may I see yours? You've seen mine. I received them the moment we met, when you tried to fix my car. And that's how I knew I loved you so quickly. You were my best friend, you kissed better than anyone I've ever dated, and we shared the soulmate bond. Do you know how lucky we are to have that?"

"I guess, yeah. I just never thought that I would be able to live in the same time as my soulmate. I mean, I've also heard stories that chance meetings have led to the words, and then they meet once more on one of their deathbeds, and what's the point in that? I wanted to be certain that you and I wouldn't end up that way."

"And then there are truly tragic tales like Henrik."

Bernie gave her a sharp look as they made their way into the living room. Serena sat in the corner of the sofa, Bernie making certain to sit right next to her, pulling her into her lap as she began to stroke her hair lightly. "You are not going to leave things like that, are you? How do you know Hanssen even has words written on him? You never slept with him, did you?"

Serena giggled as she shook her head. "Oh no, nothing like that. I was called into a surgery with him, and accidentally walked in on him changing. He has two sets of words, one on his bicep, and one on his back right shoulder. Both are in different colors and writing, one distinctly feminine and one masculine. I've never let on what I saw, since he is such an intensely private person. Though my heart breaks to think of him alone, without the two people who would make his life whole."

"That is tragic, yes," Bernie replied before she leaned in and kissed her gently. "But it also explains a little more about him, don't you think? Because he has been shaped by his sorrow to be that taciturn man who has a heart of gold."

"That's a good way to look at it," she murmured as she turned and wrapped her arms around Bernie's neck. "Now, about those words?"

"Let's head upstairs for that, just in case Jason comes home."

Serena nodded as her lover stood, gently pulling her to her feet before they made their way upstairs. She wasn't surprised to have Bernie guide her to the bed before she pushed her down onto it, and Serena fought to keep from reaching out and touching Bernie as she started to pull her shirt off. A low groan fell from her lips as she took in the pale skin that Bernie was uncovering, noticing the scar that had almost separated them before they had ever met. Still, her front was free from any words, and Serena frowned a little, trying to push away the growing feeling of desire that she had for Bernie, knowing that this was not the time for making love.

And then, Bernie was stepping forward as she unclasped her bra and let it fall to the floor while she took a seat next to Serena, allowing her to see the words on her shoulder, written in her script. "I wanted to tell Elinor about us," she whispered, feeling a lump grow in her throat. That was something that they had had danced around, especially since Serena knew that her daughter wouldn't be too happy to find out that she had had a lesbian awakening at her age. "Oh, my god, Bernie."

"I know, and that's partially why I ran. Because I know that I'll want to say those words to you sometime soon, and I can't. Your words are a little more generic, but I can't help but feel like I will be saying the words first. And since that's something that we can't avoid, I feel like our time together will be so short."

"No, it doesn't have to be soon, Bernie. Your words could have to do with telling her that we're adopting or moving to another country years down the line. They don't have to be said right away." Serena knew that she was currently grasping at straws, because a creeping feeling of dread had started to enter her bones, as if Bernie had spoken some truth that she didn't want to acknowledge. Shivering strongly, she wrapped her arms around Bernie's waist, pressing a few desperate kisses to her neck as if to assure herself that she wasn't going anywhere, and neither was Bernie. They were going to have all the time in the world, and telling Elinor about them would be telling her that they wished to be buried together, and that would not happen for decades, if she was lucky.

"I love you, Serena Wendy Campbell, and we are going to fill each day with love until those words spill from my lips. Even as I try like hell to make certain that they never do. Because I don't want to lose you."

"I don't want to lose you, either, Berenice Griselda Wolfe. Because this is the love that I have been waiting my entire life for. And now, I want to make love to my gorgeous partner, and instill in her the idea that we are going to have as many nights of passion as possible, for decades to come." There was still a desperateness to her voice, that she tried to cover, but from the way that Bernie turned in her arms, she had the feeling that she knew, and was also trying to convince herself that things were going to work out all right. As she captured Bernie's lips in a ferocious kiss, Serena pushed her back onto the mattress, letting out a soft groan when Bernie's hands began to fumble with her clothes. She didn't want to take things fast, but as soon as she felt her lover's hands on her breasts, her more carnal side took over, and she nipped at Bernie's lower lip before dragging her lips down the long column of her neck before biting gently on her collarbone, listening to the high pitched whine Bernie let out. Knowing that this pleased her, Serena continued to kiss her way down her body, skipping past her breasts as she pressed her lips to Bernie's stomach as she fumbled with the closure on her trousers, cursing the fact that she wore such tight jeans, even if her arse did look stunning in them.

Once she was finally able to look at her soulmate naked, Serena drank her in, memorizing every feature about her body before continuing to love on her, knowing that there was no way she would ever take any moment together for granted, even as she tried to convince her mind that they were truly going to have years and years together.


	10. Chapter 10

It had only taken Serena six months of blissful happiness to forget about the meaning of the words on Bernie's back. She always loved on them when they were in the shower together, stroking them when they were together at work, generally keeping them close to heart. But the reason why they were avoiding them? Well, it seemed like a bad dream to her, something that she didn't have to put much stock in.

Perhaps things could have stayed like that, if her daughter hadn't decided to show up unexpectedly to the hospital that afternoon, a petulant pout on her lips. "Mum, please! I have to talk to you!"

"Not right now, darling. Bernie and I are going into a complicated surgery in ten minutes, and I need to focus on being prepared for that. Even with both of us in theatre, its going to be a very taxing procedure. You are more than welcome to sit in our office until we're finished, but it looks like it will be about five to eight hours, depending on how things go in there."

Elinor gave a sharp nod before stomping off in the direction of her office. Letting out a frustrated breath, Serena made her way to the locker room, unlocking Bernie's locker and stuffing her clothes and jewelry in there before pulling on a set of scrubs. Taking a look at herself in the mirror, Serena tried to swallow the thick rock that was growing in her throat, that feeling of dread starting to build in her. She didn't know if it was nerves from the surgery ahead of them, or if it was the fact that Elinor had shown up so unexpectedly.

"Are you ready, Serena?" Bernie asked as she peeked her head inside the locker room, and she nodded a little as she grabbed her cap before following Bernie down to their theatre. It didn't take long for them to get scrubbed up, but Serena made certain to grab a quick kiss before tying her cap around her head and allowing the nurse to affix her mask over her mouth before they went into the inner room. The support staff were all in place, and she gave a small nod to Dom as they went over to the patient and began to do their work. Serena was once more taken aback by how well they worked together, as if they had been partners in theatre for much longer than the nine months since Bernie had started on AAU. It seemed like there had been nothing to worry about, as the surgery went like clockwork, and then after six hours of procedures and making certain that their patient was going to live, even if they did face a somewhat long recovery time, they were closing up and peeling off their used aprons and stuffing them in the trash.

"That was a good surgery," she said as they went back into the scrub room, washing away the stale smell of sweat and surgery.

"It was. And did I see Elinor here in our office?"

Serena gave her a small nod, feeling like everything in the room was telescoping outwards, like she was watching herself and Bernie from a thousand miles away. Something bad was coming, she could feel it in the depths of her soul, and unwarranted tears began to pool in her eyes as she answered her lover. "She is, and she has a bee in her bonnet about something. God knows what Edward's said to have her get into such a strop."

"I want to tell Elinor about us."

The words had slipped from Bernie's lips before she realized what she had said, as Serena watched the dawning horror that was creeping across her face. She went to say something, anything, only for Bernie to hurriedly press her palm against her lips, shutting in the words that she wanted to say. She gave her partner a confused look, only for her to shake her head violently.

"If you don't say another word, nothing will happen. I can live without having your voice address me, and you can write me letters, but I don't want to lose you just yet." Serena nodded, the tears finally starting to roll down her cheeks as Bernie leaned in and replaced her hand with her lips, giving her the softest kiss she had ever received. "I love you, Serena."

It physically hurt to be unable to say those words back to her, instead just nodding as they walked hand in hand to the locker room. She didn't care who saw them, she only had thoughts for her Bernie. Elinor popped her head out of the office, and Serena watched her eyes grow large before anger clouded her features, and she ran from the office, her purse in her hand. "Ellie, wait!" she cried out, turning to look up at Bernie, clamping her lips shut.

Bernie nodded in understanding. "Go after her, Serena. I wanted to tell Elinor about us."

Once more, she felt her breath leave her lungs, as she knew that Bernie had misspoken back in theatre, and that these were most likely the last words she would ever hear from her partner. Taking hold of her hand, Serena tugged her along behind, not wanting to let go of her as they made their way out into the parking lot. Hearing a familiar engine rev, she turned to see that Elinor was hurriedly driving towards the exit, not paying attention to where she was going, and that Bernie was in her direct line. "Look out!" she screamed, pushing Bernie away as she took the full brunt of Elinor's car against her body. She felt herself fly away from Elinor's car, and knew that these were her last moments on earth.

Her body hit the ground hard, and then her head struck the ground with a sickening thunk. As a surgeon, she knew that something was horridly wrong from the way that her body almost instantaneously became heavy and cold. Serena couldn't control her limbs or her mouth, and she struggled to keep her eyes open as both Elinor and Bernie reached her side at the same time. "Mummy! I'm so sorry!" her daughter cried out as she bent down and tried to pick her up, only for Bernie to wrap her arms around her daughter, stilling her movements. "Let go of me! We have to help her!  
"I know, Elinor, but you can't just move her. There is a serious risk of a neck injury, so we have to wait for a backboard and a brace. There's nothing that you can do for her, sweetheart, we have to let our doctors do what they do best, and that's heal people."

Serena wanted to say something, to nod, but all she could do was blink her eyes rapidly as she heard the sound of feet coming towards them. As Henrik and Sacha reached her side, her field of vision started going black, and she fought to try to focus on Bernie and Elinor's faces, wanting them to be the last thing she saw before the end. Bernie seemed to know that, as she leaned in close. Her features were blurry to Serena, and she wished that she could kiss her one last time. But she had met true love with death on her lips, and she didn't want to curse Bernie with that burden. If only they had had more time…


	11. Chapter 11

"How are you holding up, Bernie?"

She turned her head slowly to look at Dom, trying to come up with an appropriate answer for her friend. "Do you want the truth or the pat answer?" she finally replied, blinking slowly as she continued to look at him.

"I think that I can guess the truth from that answer," he said before pulling her into a tight hug. She accepted the sweet embrace, trying not to wince when his hands brushed against the place where her soulmate words had been just a few days ago. Her shoulder had burned the moment that Serena passed, and even though she had tried to hold it together for Elinor's sake, hearing the flatline noise of the monitors had broken something inside her, and she had turned into Hanssen, allowing him to comfort her with an awkward hug that felt right. "Who's driving you to the funeral?"

"Cameron is picking me up, and then we're going to get Elinor and Jason. I wish that we had told her, I wish that I hadn't spoken our words. I was so foolish, but they just slipped out."

Fresh tears stung her eyes, and she looked away from Dom to discretely bring a handkerchief to her eyes and brushing them away. "In some ways, I'm glad that I haven't found a soulmate yet, then. I don't have to worry about what I say."

"I understand that, but what I had with Serena was so glorious that I would never want you to miss out on it." She glanced at him, seeing the sad smile that now graced his lips before he reached out for her hand. "Will you ride with us? You can leave the car here, it's a safe place."

"I would like nothing more than that, Bernie." He reached out for her hand, squeezing it softly before Bernie went over to the window to watch for her son. It didn't take long for him to appear, looking smart in a black suit and bright red tie. She knew that that was a nod to Serena's love of that color, and she smiled as she let out a shaky breath. "I take it he's here?"

"Yes."

Dom gave her another small nod before taking hold of her hand once more and leading her from the flat. Her hands were shaking too badly for her to lock the door, and he gently took the keys from her in order to do so. "It's okay to not be okay today, you know."

"I know." Bernie's voice cracked on the last word, and she had to bite her lip hard to keep from crying. She knew that she would be doing enough of that during the service. "I hope you don't mind if you ride up front with my son. I don't think that Jason or Elinor will let me sit there."

"That is perfectly fine," he replied as he guided her over to the car, opening the back door for her before getting in next to Cameron. "All right, now to…the Campbell house."

She nodded as Cameron pulled into traffic once more, and she settled back against the seat as he drove. Everyone was quiet, even though the day was a brilliant, cheery, blue, as if Serena was telling her from wherever she was that everything would be all right, and that life would go on. Finally, they arrived at Serena's home, and Elinor and Jason slipped out the front door before climbing into the car. "Thank you for picking us up, Bernie. I don't think that I'll ever be able to drive again," the young woman murmured as she practically snuggled into Bernie's side. "And thank you for accepting me, even though I killed her."

Bernie could only nod as she slung her arm around Elinor's shoulders, holding her close as Dom continued to drive towards the church. Serena would have hated the fact that they were holding the service there, but it was the only venue open to them that would hold all the people she was certain would want to come. "We're here, Mum," Cameron said as Dom pulled up to the door. She nodded, watching Jason slide out of the car before she followed after, unsurprised when Elinor took hold of her hand and refused to let go as they made their way inside.

A few people had already started gathering, as if they wanted to honor Serena's punctuality, and she tried to smile at them as they entered the church. Bernie's smile slipped from her face as she gazed up to the front of the sanctuary to see the men from the funeral home roll the casket into place. It seemed far too small to contain Serena, even though she instinctively knew that it was her spirit that had made her seem larger than life. Tears pooled in her eyes, and Cam was quick to pluck a fresh handkerchief from his pocket, handing it to her as she began to cry silently.

"We can get through today, Mum, and then the next, and the next. We'll just go one day at a time. I'll transfer back to Holby, and see if Charlotte wants to move back home. We'll take care of you, I promise," he whispered fiercely in her ear before hugging her tightly, as if he was trying to hold the shattered pieces of her heart together. That just made her cry all the harder, having her son step up and be the adult for her broken heart. "I love you, and I think I would have loved her, if you had had more time together."

Bernie nodded as she tried to draw in a shady breath. That effort was dashed by Elinor snaking her arms around her waist and holding her close. "We can try to be the family that Serena wanted us to be. A few months ago, I wanted to run, but I know now that there's no other place that I would rather be than here in Holby. Even if I am going to take a leave of absence from the hospital and spend a few weeks at the cottage."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea, Mum," Cam said as he stepped away from her and looked at Elinor before glancing towards the front of the church. "Why don't we head up together to say our last goodbyes before the service starts? I'm certain that the funeral director and Dom can keep the others at bay."

Bernie gave a small nod as she took hold of Elinor's hand and led her to the front of the church. The organist was quietly playing the music that Bernie had suggested, knowing that Serena would have smiled at hearing Dusty Springfield being played by someone old enough to be their mother. Elinor seemed to think the same thing, as she let out a tiny hiccup of a laugh as she stepped closer to Bernie, her hand tightening around her fingers as they finally reached the casket.

"I, I want to see her one last time," Elinor murmured before looking up into Bernie's face, her eyes bloodshot and swimming with tears. "I have to tell her how sorry I am, Bernie. She has to know that I never meant for this…"

Her words broke off in a harsh sob, and Bernie pressed her head against her chest, trying to think of words to comfort Elinor. But there weren't any forthcoming, not when she couldn't find word to comfort herself. All she had was a gaping, raw, wound where the other half of her heart had once been. "She already knows, sweetheart, and you don't want your last image of your mother to be that. Remember her how she was, happy and smiling, and loving you so very much." She bent her head and pressed a kiss to the young woman's hair. "Now, rest your hand on the wood and say goodbye to her. Don't ask me what to say, I have no idea how to say goodbye, either."

"Okay. And can I come see you at your cottage? To hear stories about Mum, things I might not have known? I don't trust Dad to tell me the truth."

Bernie nodded, knowing that she could never refuse a request from Serena's daughter, knowing that she would always step in to help guide and protect Elinor, just like she knew Serena would have done the same for Cam and Charlotte. "Of course, I'll tell you as much as I can. Now, let's say our final goodbyes in this lifetime." Elinor nodded and reached out to touch the casket, and Bernie stood back to watch and try to find a way to say goodbye to Serena. _She's my girl now, and I'll take care of her just like I take care of Charlotte. I know you'll be with me, always, even if it's just in spirit. Watch over us, my love, and keep us safe as we go through life without you._ Closing her eyes she pressed one hand to her lips before resting it against the casket, allowing tears to freely stream down her face as she whispered "Goodbye."


End file.
